I feel like today is the start of a new season for our little family of three. Ben has traveled since starting work and thankfully, thankfully my mom graciously agreed to come keep me company during that time. Ben returned, my mom left, and that takes us to today. Ben goes to work and Elijah and I will be at home. Together. By ourselves. All day long. All week long.
I am equal parts terrified and excited. It feels as though we've been working towards this all summer and now we are finally here. I'm entirely grateful for the opportunity to stay home and mother Elijah. I am aware that this isn't something that is available to most and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be at home. I am also sure that this will be far, far harder than any job I've held prior to this. Loving and caring for my boy requires me to sacrifice in a deeper, harder, more beautiful way than I've ever done. But I'm thankful for that. I'm hopeful that the Lord will use this season to shape and grow me. I battle daily with selfishness and laziness and I know that the only way that I will be able to combat those desires will be to rely on the strength of the Lord. I will need His strength to lay down my life for my son. I am confident that He will provide me with the strength and ability to love to do so because He did not hesitate to lay down His own Son that we might know and love Him. When I focus on that, I have a feeling that we will be just fine.
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